Is therapy for me? Aren't my friends enough?
Friends are a great source of strength and support, and often give great advice. They can also be too close to the problem, too quick to see only your side of things, or limited in their solutions to what is bothering you. If you've talked to your friends, taken their advice, felt supported by them and yet still find yourself unhappy with how things are going, it may be time to talk to someone with a different perspective who can offer you some new tools.
What happens in therapy? How often do I need to see someone?
People come to counseling for a variety of reasons. It's possible all you need is some information to deal with an unfamiliar situation. Getting a few new ideas and being directed to some resources, such as books, parenting classes, or support groups may be all that's needed. In other cases, learning new skills, such as how to stop negative self talk, may take a combination of therapy sessions in the office and pratice on your own to achieve the desired results. This is usually considered brief therapy, perhaps no more than 6 or 8 sessions. Sometimes, when dealing with more involved issues, therapy may take a bit longer and will often combine talking, skill building and, when appropriate, dealing with earlier traumas. Each person is unique, and there isn't a single right answer for how long. You should, however, be able to discuss this freely with whomever you are seeing.
How do I pay for therapy? Does my insurance cover it?
Insurance coverage varies from policy to policy. You should check with your own insurance provider to determine if therapy is a benefit, and if so, the number of sessions covered, the copay required, and whether or not a referral is necessary. Many policies pay more for seeing an 'in network' provider and some do not cover 'out of network' providers at all. For example, I am a Preferred Provider for Premera and Regence, and a provider for most First Choice policies. When insurance does not cover counseling, some therapists, including myself, offer a sliding scale for clients who may not be able to pay the full fee. This is usually discussed in the first session. Most insurance companies do not cover marriage counseling.
How do I find a good therapist?
A referral from someone you know is always a good place to start. Your physician, chiropractor, pastor, rabbi, or other trusted professional can often give you a list of names. If your company has an Employee Assistance Program they can often meet with you to help make a good recommendation for your situation. Websites for professional organizations can also tell you who is qualified to provide certain services. Friends who have been to counseling may want to give you the name of who they saw. Once you have some names, it's a good idea to contact a few therapists to find one who meets your specific needs. Location, available appointment times, specialty training for the issues you want to address, and a general sense of being able to talk freely with the counselor are all important. The first session should give you the opportunity to see if the therapist is a good match. If not, ask for a referral to someone else.
I'm having a problem with my (wife, husband, son, daughter...) but they won't come to therapy with me. What do I do?
While it's always best to include everyone involved with a problem when coming to therapy, it isn't always possible for a variety of reasons. Coming alone can still give you many useful skills for dealing with and making decisions about the situation. Finding a therapist who understands how to help you learn positive ways to cope with whatever is happening can often improve things even if no one else comes to the sessions. If they decide later to attend, I can help facilitate a referral to the appropriate couples or family therapist.
I don't want anyone to know I'm seeing a therapist. How can I be sure no one finds out?
Therapy is confidential. By law, a therapist cannot tell anyone, including a family member of an adult client, that they even know who a person is. You have to sign a written release for a counselor to talk to anyone or to see your records. If you are seen with your spouse, both of you have to sign the release, not just one of you. If you are using insurance to pay for your therapy, the insurance provider will need to know your diagnosis and they have the right to review your records if they have any questions about your treatment. If this is a concern for you, talk with your therapist to decide the best way to deal with it.
Does it mean I'm weak if I need therapy?
It's often hard to ask for help. While some people see the willingness to seek guidance as a sign of strength, others see it as a sign of weakness, believing that we should be able to solve our problems by ourselves, or that if we just 'had enough willpower' we could fix anything. Unfortunately, that doesn't work for most people or for all problems. We might be able to fix a leaky faucet but we may need the help of a plumber when the pipe is broken. Establishing a relationship with a good therapist can add to your toolkit and give you more resources for solving other problems on your own as they arise.
I keep seeing different initials and abbreviations when I read about therapy and therapists. What do they all mean?
Here's a link to a site that can help explain them to you:
http://www.counselingseattle.com/initials.htm